Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.
> (P)=PROBLEM
> (S)=SOLUTION
> (P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
> (S) Almost replaced left inside main tire
> (P) Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
> (S) Autoland not installed on this aircraft
> (P) #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
> (S) #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage
> (P) Something loose in cockpit
> (S) Something tightened in cockpit
> (P) Evidence of leak on right main landing gear
> (S) Evidence removed
> (P) DME volume unbelievably loud
> (S) Volume set to more believable level
> (P) Dead bugs on windshield
> (S) Live bugs on order
> (P) Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent
> (S) Cannot reproduce problem on ground
> (P) IFF inoperative
> (S) IFF always inoperative in OFF mode
> (P) Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
> (S) That's what they're there for
> (P) Number three engine missing
> (S) Engine found on right wing after brief search
> (P) Aircraft handles funny
> (S) Aircraft warned to straighten up, "fly right" and be serious
> (P) Target Radar hums
> (S) Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics
